Dealing / Not Dealing

Avoiding Problems Doesn’t Make Them Go Away

Suddenly, the realization hit me. I have been inordinately happy for the past week. Perhaps happier than I have any right to be at this particular moment in my life… And that’s when it really hit me. I stopped dealing with it. Pretty much all of it, for the most part, since last week.

I plunged headlong into work with laser-like focus, and rarely allowed myself to veer off course, which gave me the opportunity to accomplish a pretty kick-ass redesign/overhaul on d6Collab.com. But, it also gave me a false sense of “normalcy” and the perfect excuse not to deal with anything. It stopped me from thinking about all the stress in my life, and I’m now finding that was some pretty cold comfort.

I know. What’s so wrong with that, right? I should take a break when and where I can get one, shouldn’t I? Well…to an extent. My happiness during this last week has been kind of a lie, though. I have successfully avoided processing my emotions and, what’s even worse is, I caught myself actively pushing them aside (shoving them down), because I can’t bear to feel the way I did a couple of weeks ago. I just can’t go there again. Nothing good can come of it.

I have to figure out how to let some of it siphon in without opening the floodgates completely, because I have to handle my business; however, I know I also have to handle my negative emotions before they start handling me again. They’re not just going to go away on their own. So, that’s what I’ll be working on personally this week (and for however long necessary thereafter): Overcoming my emotions, and not allowing them to overtake me.

Now that d6 Collab has relaunched, my development time has gone down pretty drastically (read: back to “normal”), so I can start to focus on other things again, including writing. I’m working on a few articles right now, all at various stages in the writing process, including one for “My Story” about narcissistic abuse, what it is, how to recognize it, and the effects it has on its victims. I hope to publish it on Tuesday or Wednesday, so stay tuned for that.

Thanks for hanging out with me while I try to figure out life, the universe, and everything. I know the answer is “42” but I’m still searching for the question. Until next time…

Much love, Fam.

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